In terms of wearing clothing that is green, I do alright. It always makes my eyes turn super green and I feel a little closer to my historical heritage with black hair and green eyes. Green is a good colour … it is a colour of beauty, growth and life.
Unfortunately, that is not the green I am speaking of. I am thinking more along the lines of
green with envy. I do not have
green-eyed monster syndrome which refers to an individual whose current actions appear to be motivated by envy.
I am not interested in acting green – I just have moments of feeling green.
You see, my friends have arrived in Scotland. They have a lovely cottage for a home, with a view that is unsurpassed in my mind. Green lands met by the shining blue of the sea, wooden fences surrounding front and back gardens filled with growing flowers and food, sheep mindlessly wandering the fields … all this greets them in the morning and wishes them restful slumber each night. They are being taught a language, not to live but to point to the Giver of Life. They will participate in the activities I dreamed of doing, meet the people I dreamed of meeting; they will have wonderful teammates to support and encourage them from a distance. They are where I sometimes still wish to be.
I know that the above scene is not without its own difficulties. I know that I too have a view incomparable to anything I have known – hundreds of thousands of lives in my face each morning with a need for something greater than themselves; their voices chasing me as I fall asleep in the darkness of night. My view comes with an overwhelming wonder of where to start and how to even make a difference. All of this has come from an especially hard week, I have been faced with extreme lack of direction or planned purpose for quite some time. It has finally worn me down.
I only keep telling myself, I came because I listened. I will stay because I am listening. When I start to feel green … I need to choose to be the green reflected in the beauty of my Father and my own growth in Him.